Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others

“So you’re still out there, Praise?”

What type of question is that lol, I’m pretty sure you’d know when God has taken me home to be with him, and although some say I ghost, I’m pretty much still here. There’s no getting rid of me, you’re stuck with me till…. Well till whenever to be honest, so ha!

My readers, ohh how I have missed you *wipes tear drop off cheek”. Honestly, I don’t have a valid reason as to why I haven’t blogged, but college has been stressssss! Also, I want my posts to be meaningful and thoughtful and not rush so I took some time out to collect my thoughts because a lot has been going on…..but that’s all boring stuff.

After a messy messy night last night, I woke up to go to the New Designers Exhibition in Islington, London. And my God, some art out there is just jaw dropping. Some of you may be wondering why I was actually there but basically one of the A levels I study is Fine Art Textiles. I have a mad mad love for art, some may not know and it’s not something go particularly bang on about but it’s literally my passion. I don’t know why I get so emotional writing or even thinking about this. I swear I have the emotions of a pregnant lady when it comes to matters of this but let me just explain before you go off thinking I’m an emotional, soppy being, which I am evidently.

For a long time I’ve struggled with finding my purpose or what I’m good at. I’m someone who doesn’t consider myself to have a unique talent, I’m okay at this and okay at that but not amazing or outstanding at anything in particular; and once someone begins to feel like that you become very low. Although I don’t want to go into this much because this is intended for another post but yes, I was battling within myself to actually go out in search for the talent God has given me. That’s when I stumbled across art. From a young age, I’ve always had an eye for drawings, different interpretations of things, colour, pattern, fashion, design but it was something I always overlooked. However recently during my AS textile course, I’ve come to realise that I have a eye for attention to detail, a mind that processes artists work in a way that is analytical and creative. I used to believe I lacked creativity, and I never liked being out of my comfort zone but this course has caused me to.

The Exhibition I was privileged to go to was one made up of graduated degree students from a range of universities who came to showcase the folders of work. I went into there only to get ideas as to what I could actually do in my final piece, I didn’t know I would walk out with a totally different view to art and what my life could become. Each design was thoughtful, well completed, interesting and just beautiful. Although some art pieces appeared kind of bizarre or different, it emphasised on the fact “Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others” and yes, I am relating this to art but this stretches to all areas of life.

Always see the beauty in your situation, the light in the darkness, the blessings in your stress, the smiles behind the tears, the healing behind the pain, the strength during affliction. Always try to see the positive behind the situation and embrace things when they don’t go right. Just like in the art and design world, mistakes can turn out to be the most amazing pieces of art work. Sometimes it’s hard to see this but ask God to give you sight like his because he says “Everything is fearfully and wonderfully made”.

It’s great to be back! Be encouraged, the beauty in my art piece is the God that lives within me! Find your beauty!

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

P.S. The pictures taken are of other people’s work, please do not use it! Respect their craft. Thankyou.

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A section from a novel

This weekend has been ‘hella’ busy, from having people over to dying and colouring my sisters hair to watching the Nigerian match, helping my Mum pack; I’ve found myself caught up in all this and couldn’t even spare a minute to blog. Blogging takes a lot longer than people think and even longer than I previously anticipated. But that can’t stop me, oh no….

What I’ve got for you is a continuation from the first chapter of a novel, it does not directly link as I had to filter certain sections due to my audience (Aunties from church) but I hope you enjoy it all the same…..

“Just like a designer or a manufacturer, it’s things, items you’re passionate about that you spend a long time creating, right? Because you want it to be a reflection of you, of your skill, yes? So then my theory is right, it’s these beautiful people God spends a lot of time creating, and thumbs up to them, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. And from there we’re directed to our next subject matter, the boys, the opposite sex, our future baby daddies, our future husbands, the bone of our bones and flesh of our flesh, but the biggest title in this generation, our biggest critics. Guys will stroll our streets, solo, in groups or in cliques simply looking for their next prey, whether it be a beautiful girl or a girl that let’s face it, just isn’t it. They’ll sight from a distance, lock onto them, their gaze fixed on the item, wait for the subject to draw closer, maintain a position that perfectly accentuates their good looks, squint their eyes a little, and simply stop and stare, no comment at first just simply relying on sight. Making use of their senses at least even though they may appear senseless. So the subject approaches, they give the fine babes a wink or drop a comment like you’re buff, or yo my size, what you saying which in English means hello, how are you or what’s up? But wait… An average girl or a girl who isn’t really blessed in the looks department as of yet, they’ll drop a comment like she’s clapped or Lowe that man meaning she’s ugly and they’ll leave her and rather commence onto a new project. So following this episode, the boys will gather in a pack like formation and simply discuss and deliberate on the girls they had seen, rating, slating, laughing, commending, condoning etc. and then simply return to their supposed everyday life. Hahaha……. I didn’t want to go into this but I can hear the screams and cries from girls that have been victims of this abuse and they’re asking me to shut this down, so girls whether it’s you or simply my schizophrenic nature I’ll result to shutting down all these claims. Boys, if you’re at all offended it means you simply were being too nosy and reading a book that is not intended for you but thankyou for reading this far, we’ll be happy to miss you and your comments but bye…. Okay, let’s be real I’m sure you’ve still got this book in your hand so I promise to be nice yet truthful. The truth sets us free at the end of the day, even the bible backs me up on that”

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

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What’s the circle of trust?

The circle of trust basically refers to your friendship group, right? But I’ve grown to realise that my circle of trust seems to be different.

Everyone’s always going on about ‘keeping your circle tight’ or ‘keeping your circle small’ but I realised I havent got a circle at all. Yeah, yeah, I give you this opportunity to laugh, and in many ways that’s why I created this blog. I’ve got a handful of people that I regard as friends, the others are just associates. It’s got to the stage in my life where I can literally count my friends on one hand. This excludes my sisters of course who are literally my ride or die. But yeah, I keep my so called circle so small. And why? To be quite honest I don’t know. I’ve recently had this conviction that there is no point in having such a big group. There will always be people closer than others, always secrets, always this and always that, it’s pointless. So I’ve resorted to creating my own shape of friendship group, and I know some of you will find this hilarious but it’s just a mere straight line.

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Excuse the gaps in this illustration, but why have a circle when you can have a straight line. Just like chemistry, and referring to the hydrocarbon chains, straight chains can pack together more closely and hence are solids. So that’s what I’ve got, a straight chained friendship group. This consists of people who are like minded to me, share the same visions as me are hardworking, and share the same beliefs, the list is endless. Our straight chain means we can support each other and hold onto each other during this journey of life. Friendship isn’t about how many years you’ve known each other, or how close your families are, that doesn’t mean a thing, it’s all about the depth of the friendship.

I’ve been so so blessed to have a tight, friendship group, we come from different walks of life, go to different schools, are from different countries, but have the same foundation, we were all brought up in the ways of The Lord.
One in particular is my other half, my babes of life, my Iyawo, my better half, the bone to my bone and flesh of my flesh. I’m sure she’ll be reading this and will literally be blushing, and yeah black people don’t blush but she’s my yellow bone, my lightie. It’s weird how someone can become more than a friend that’s why I don’t class her in my straight line of friendship, she’s a sister. Someone who can account for me, finish my sentences, pray for me and pray with me, revise with me, literally do anything and everything with me. Before her, I clearly didn’t have friends because she taught me what a friend is and what a friend should be. Other than the fact she was the one pushing me to start this blog, she’s my number one fan, always supporting and rooting for me but still in the position to correct me. Dont get me wrong, all friendships get turbulent, we argue but argue in love and even at this moment, I’m pretty sure she’s annoyed with me right now about one thing or another but that’s to show that nobody is perfect and neither is a friendship. We are all a work in progress. I thank God for bringing her to my life, it’s a union I’m so grateful to have.

So why keep a big group when the majority are snakes or unfriendly friends. Lool, unfriendly friends, that’s a new one Praise, you really are adding words to your vocabulary, and trust me I am. The bible even makes reference to unfriendly friends, warning us on people who plot against us. Even Jesus was betrayed “You aren’t one of this man’s disciples too, are you?” she asked Peter. He replied, “I am not.” (John 18:17 NIV)”. So if Jesus’s own friend, betrayed him, what makes you think yours won’t?

The tone of this post isn’t to alarm you, or make you question the friends you find around you but it is very important to distinguish between friends and associates. A good friend is more loyal than a brother. How many of these do you have around you ? Friends are only here to make this journey in life easier, but the greatest friend is God. Don’t invest so much in a friendship that is not of him, after all, it is you that will account for yourself in the Day of Judgement. Is it really worth it?

P.S. Big shoutout to my babygirl. Don’t worry I won’t bait you out but I just want you to know I love and appreciate you. I know I can never repay you for the times you’ve been here for me and supported me but I know God can. Keep up the good work girl, your reward is waiting for you.

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

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Keep your grass low

I have no doubt that this will be one hell of a summer. The scorching temperatures, countless opportunities for fun, trips to exotic locations and just increasing leisure activities whether alone or accompanied by friends. Well for me, mine is sure to be like that, regardless of whether the bipolar nature of our world is in consensus with it or not, I’m determined to have the best time. So whether it be raining day in and day out or a heat wave you’ll see me out there so kept watch. But I want you to do something for me? Right now, this instance, get up from where you are, it could be from in front of the tv or in bed, just like me; get up and look outside at your garden.

My garden? You may ask, and yes your garden. Look out and observe the length of your grass. What the —-. Just wait, I know where I’m going with this, I just need a picture to form in your heads. So yes, after observing your grass length, you can return to where you were seated.

I’m sure many of you will literally think I’ve lost the plot, and to be quite honest with you, I can’t agree with you more but there’s a lesson I’m hinting towards. Recently, there’s this phrase that’s been going around “be careful of snakes”. And I’m like yh, that goes without saying, everyone should know snakes aren’t very nice creatures. And here’s the bit that baffles me, the so called snakes that people are referring to are actual human beings. Huhhh? Wait, wait, wait, common homosapiens, the same humans God created on the 6th day. Now I’m lost. What about the human body resembles that of a snake? Unless you have super dry, ashy, scaly skin, I really don’t get this association with these reptiles. But here’s the thing, these people are so so right.

There’s something about snakes that strike me. Have you guessed it? Well some snakes like in areas where there’s high grass, so like fields or areas in forests. And before this I never knew why? Then I went to the bible, John 10:10 says “A thief comes in the night to steal, to kill and to destroy”. So snakes kill and destroy but that’s not what struck me about this verse. It was the fact that thieves come at night. Why? Is it not night time that it’s dark, you can’t see, it’s a time of rest, so in many respects you’re switched off. This relates to snakes in the sense that these snakes living in these tall grasses can’t actually be seen, they can’t be smelt, sometimes heard but this is where our senses fail us.

Recently, after reassessing my friendship group, I came to realise that these human snakes are real. Scary stuff right? Well yes, some people don’t have the best intentions for you, enemies of progress they call them or bad minds. Similar to snakes and thieves they catch you unaware, they are spontaneous with their attacks and simply quite heartless. Some may appear nice but you realise they aren’t all they seem, others are shady in the way they share information and a growing number are actually just looking for an opportunity to attack you, maybe not physically but emotionally. So why should we fill our lives with these high grasses, so these snakes can live in them unknown to us, I’d much rather keep my grass low so I can see what lives in it, what lives in my life, the people I surround myself with and the end goal. Why fill your life with gossip, malice, hate, bitterness? It’s really not worth it. These snakes are real, very real and just like an attack from a real life snake, it’ll leave you scarred and injured for a long time, is it really worth surrounding yourself with people that have the potential to do this to you? We’ve really got to be careful when choosing our friends or even staying in a group, don’t be restricted to one box. If something isn’t right, if your spirit is not settled, it’s best to leave. Whether that leaves you on your own or just with one other person, remember you’ve got a friend in God.

Even reading back through this, I’m trembling myself but it’s important to surround yourself with people, friends, family, classmates who bring the best out in you, who compliment you, who share the same vision as you, who encourage you to do better and not the opposite. I’m still only young but by addressing issues such as snakey friends now when life is still somewhat simple can only prepare you for what is yet to come.

There’s no need to filter any information because it is all PG.

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

 

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Nostalgia

Nostalgia – “A sentimental or wistful yearning for the happiness felt in a former place or situation”

Wow, how can one word have such great meaning. I’m all for dictionary definitions but this one just hits the jackpot.
I never really knew what the word “Nostalgic” meant but I just loved the idea of adding a new word to my slow growing limited vocabulary.
If you know me as a person, or regularly follow my updates and daily blogs, you’ll grow to realise that I’m a very deep, spiritual person. Yes I’m spiritual in the sense that I go to church and I’m a grown Christian but spiritual in where my thought processes are derived from.

I’m nostalgic about many things to be quite honest, I’ve been blessed with a memory that is very selective in what I can recall but can also remember things so visibly as if they happened today or now. The feeling of nostalgia gets me somewhat emotional and depressed only because the thing you are yearning for is no longer there and that can leave you feeling quite empty and heavy hearted. Some may even shed a tear, others may not say anything but remain fixed in thought whilst the minority will continue with their day to day life’s. I hate to admit it but I fall into the first category. I don’t know why I cry or shed tears for experiences I can no longer change but it’s an area in my personality that I’m still trying to address. The funny thing about such a deep emotion as yearning is the comfort you get from the bible, my favourite verse from Psalms 30:5 makes it so clear that “weeping may endure for the night BUT joy comes in the morning”. This is where my spirituality comes in, it’s something I say to myself constantly. It’s a deeper meaning I’ve given what seems to be a simple straightforward verse to me it’s like “crying only provides a temporary solution to a problem, it relieves pain but cry, weep, mourn because a day will certainly come when the crying is no more and you will experience complete and utter joy”. The bible makes it so clear to us that there will be situations, scenarios that will break us, dishearten us but we need to have the assurance that the best is yet to come. Another one of my loves is American reality shows, Guiliana from E! News once said of her miscarriage that she knew that “the best is yet to come and everything works out in the end, if it hasn’t worked then it’s not the end” and that changed my perspective of a lot of things. As someone who recently came off the dating scene, the feeling of nostalgia has become far too familiar. Constant longing to be back in their company, back in their lives, back with them, despite the bad times. Just the yearning to be back in a place that made you feel happy or comfortable before, a vacancy that made you love life. Well when that’s not all there you become very depressed let me tell you. I’m all about honesty, and I can say from my own experience it has not been easy and it still isn’t. The feelings I felt was out of this world, you know that feeling when you have to pinch yourself asking if you’re living a dream…. Well that was me. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore and miss the person but that’s where my feelings of nostalgia stem from. It stems from me looking at where I am now and where I was then and assessing what’s different and what exactly has/had gone on. The fact someone who used to be close to you is no longer in your life, someone you shared private moments with, someone you laughed with and cried with. The thought of them no longer being someone you could potentially do that with can sometimes hurt.

But let me leave you with something; nostalgia isn’t all bad, it exercises your brain into thinking back to past events, whether it be your childhood or a recent tragedy or event; it’s a feeling that provokes thoughtfulness and taking a moment to just sit back and think. I’m a big big thinker and I’m grateful because by thinking deeply, I can address my own issues and let go and continue with life. But any of you, facing nostalgic feelings towards an ex, after a breakup, after a broken friendship, broken home just remember …….

“You know life is worth the struggle, when you look back at what you lost and realise what you have is now better”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a lot. Im privileged to have a lot; a lot of opportunities, a lot of help, a lot of family, friends and even enemies but most importantly God. That’s one thing I know I have better and it’s time you realise that too…..

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

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Nature at it’s best

It’s hard to get some time out and just take in the things around us. There’s a lot around us that we honestly don’t even notice. Is it that we don’t see it or we’re busy thinking and focusing on other things? Well, for me it’s the second one. It baffles me sometimes to find just how much us humans think and evaluate things. Is there a day that goes by that we’re not thinking about one thing or another? Of course not. Whether it be what to wear or what we’ll be having for lunch or planning how you’d dodge the teacher who’s work is in next lesson. But for once, I got to focus on just one of the things that matter to me. So go on, take a guess………

Well before I reveal the answer, let me give you a brief insight into the adventure I went on today. Are you sitting comfortably? … Then I shall begin.
The school bell chimed as the minute hand hit the hour and the noise echoed in the still air, as the sun rays brought the playground to a standstill. The light rays sneaked into the dark classroom through holes in the translucent, dusty, somewhat old blinds and the reflection appeared on the whiteboard which had been scribbled on by the teacher instructing us on the task we were to carry out. Looking up, I caught the eye of a female classmate, and without saying anything I knew immediately she was in consensus with what I was about to do but for some reason her approval did not seem quite satisfying so I resorted to shrinking in my chair, my mind wandering to the thoughts of the art work I was to submit in the coming hour…..

Are you bored yet? Looool, let me get straight to the point. So today, as part of my A2 Biology preparation we went on a small field trip to a local nature reserve to conduct a bug count. Why? I don’t know. Did I actually achieve the goals set…. Well to some degree yes, as I identified one invertebrate but one out of how many. Laziness is certainly real. But now the interesting bit….. Nature.

To be quite honest, I can’t really say I’m a nature person, or I was. I would prefer to stay in the comforts of my home, or bedroom specifically and observe the species of animals and scenes from my bedroom window or rather account for the new not so skinny genes I had recently purchased. Skinny genes? Get it.

So yes, the scene. My God, it was absolutely beautiful. Breathtaking to see that areas like these are reserved just for the public to admire and acknowledge Gods creation. It is true that everything on this earth is created in Gods image, how he managed it in 7 days I honestly don’t know. Nature is something around us that we tend to forget, it’s something we often disregard and take advantage of. Maybe the summer days are adding to the beauty of grasslands, and lakes etc. but notwithstanding life outdoors is picturesque. The stillness in the waters, the healthy plant life and quiet insects and birds occupying it, it simply makes you lost for words. I never understood the beauty of nature until nature saw the beauty in me, the beauty in the way I had been created to be able to see, smell, hear and touch everything around me. The gift of life is so precious, and being able to share this earth with not just people but animals, nature, seas etc. reminds us of how God destined it to be. The Garden of Eden is real, and today I was fortunate enough to experience it.

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

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A chapter of a novel

Blogging. Writing. Recording. Listing. Note taking. Diary. Whatever you want to call it, well….. That wasn’t the initial direction I wanted to take. No, I don’t think I’m very interesting as an individual and neither do I think I’m a pro but for some reason, I had this urge to write as a 17 year old growing up in the 21st century. I had this crazy crazy idea that maybe one day, I could write and publish a book, the genre or direction I would take was still unknown but I decided to just write, and wowww, as soon as I out pen to paper it just began flowing and here’s where it took me.

“Being the middle child, all responsibliy somehow finds it’s way to you, you don’t have the advantages and privileges of the elder one and neither the love and shelter that the younger gets which can be difficult. It’s me, cleaning, tidying trying to keep the house in order but how can I when my life is a mess. The old me is nomore, the same me that would wake up bright and early in my childhood days to make sure everything is set for the day, the same me that would stay up till ungodly hours in the morning to wash the dishes that I hadn’t eaten from, the me that would take it upon myself to clean and tidy each and everyone’s individual rooms whether it was my duty or not. But now with all these things going on in my mind, I find it extremely hard to even clean my bedroom, I’ve resorted to a wardrobe on my bed, literally picking what I feel to wear whereas before I would colour coordinate my wardrobe and make sure it was in tip top shape. That takes me onto my body, my appearance. From a young age. I’ve loved all things beauty. Although my mum likes the simple pleasures of life, I love the luxuries, the things that make you look good. The make up, the heels, the clothes, the hair, all things fab. So I chose the artificial lifestyle and started my journey right from year 7, if not before. And yes, I’ve progressed from my blue eye shadow days and over Vaselined lips to layers of foundation, the occasional attempt at highlighting, the false eyelash look etc. but the journey has not at all been easy. I’ve been one people would tag as ‘perfect’ yes, I may not have the smoothest most even skin tone but I was blessed with minimal blemishes and a somewhat curvy figure. But to me, curvy means fat and not being able to be cautious with food consumption. Taking my petite frame of a mere 5ft 2 or so inches in height, I believe shows more on a smaller surface area, and there’s my problem, the rate and depth at which my mind thinks is crazy, if only I could apply this much thought process to my A Level Studies”

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

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Huh? But where’s Worship?

*rolls eyes*

Why do people genuinely sound so confused when I give them a reply that generates the response, that “Huh, but where’s Worship?”. What do you mean where’s Worship? How do you expect me to know… you must think I have a tracking device on this so called individual called ‘Worship’ but here’s the thing…. I don’t.

I can’t help but literally laugh out loud when I’m asked my name and I reply saying “Praise” and people immediately think my other half is missing or I’ve missed out a major part in my life story. But what is this gap in my life story, well unknown to me, I should be a twin according to some African Aunties and Uncles and a fair share of youngsters. The belief that my mother carried 2 babies in her womb for 9 months and delivered healthy babies, one female (me) and the other… Well the gender not specified. The whole theory humours me, because I’m sure somewhere out there my long lost twin will be looking for me, the same way I’m looking for them. But until we cross paths, I will continue my journey as a single foetus and embrace life as an individual before someone else gets thrown into the picture.

But wait, let me back track for abit, my audience.. I totally forgot, some of you may not get the whole Praise/worship thing and to be quite honest, it’s only recently I found the deeper meaning for those words but that’s for another post….

So this Praise and Worship, what is it? Well in Pentecostal churches especially, there’s a period in the service where all that is done is singing and dancing. The Praise part is where upbeat, lively, danceable songs are sung and Worship… Well the opposite, slower, thoughtful and somewhat depressing melodies are played from the choir stand. Although that’s not the actual meaning, we’ll stick to these simpler associations for now…

So there you have it, Praise and Worship. But let me add fuel to the fire and drop my own joke in…

So we’ve got Praise… But where’s Worship and Offering and Thanksgiving? Lool, I guess the search certainly continues…
This is going to be a very very long but funny ride…

But yes, no need to cover your ears, it’s all PG,

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

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The start of something new

My fellow bloggers, friends, family and any randomers out there…

Hello, hi, hey, wagwun, what’s good? Bonjour? Hola? Shalom? Aloha? Bawo ni?

Ermm well yeah, hey!
So blogging, looks like I’ve entered into a world I vowed not to get involved in but for some reason, I had this urge to just share real life experiences with people across the world.
I wanted to be able to communicate my feelings to a wider audience, and take you on a journey of self discovery which is the avenue I’m currently journeying down right now in my life..

There’ll be days where posts will be funny, spiritual, emotional, somewhat depressing, encouraging or whatever but I’m just going to write exactly how I feel.

I hope you love it, enjoy it, read it, pass it on and most of all, be a part of it.

After all, ‘itsonlyPG’

Love Praise’Gbemisola x

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