Nostalgia

Nostalgia – “A sentimental or wistful yearning for the happiness felt in a former place or situation”

Wow, how can one word have such great meaning. I’m all for dictionary definitions but this one just hits the jackpot.
I never really knew what the word “Nostalgic” meant but I just loved the idea of adding a new word to my slow growing limited vocabulary.
If you know me as a person, or regularly follow my updates and daily blogs, you’ll grow to realise that I’m a very deep, spiritual person. Yes I’m spiritual in the sense that I go to church and I’m a grown Christian but spiritual in where my thought processes are derived from.

I’m nostalgic about many things to be quite honest, I’ve been blessed with a memory that is very selective in what I can recall but can also remember things so visibly as if they happened today or now. The feeling of nostalgia gets me somewhat emotional and depressed only because the thing you are yearning for is no longer there and that can leave you feeling quite empty and heavy hearted. Some may even shed a tear, others may not say anything but remain fixed in thought whilst the minority will continue with their day to day life’s. I hate to admit it but I fall into the first category. I don’t know why I cry or shed tears for experiences I can no longer change but it’s an area in my personality that I’m still trying to address. The funny thing about such a deep emotion as yearning is the comfort you get from the bible, my favourite verse from Psalms 30:5 makes it so clear that “weeping may endure for the night BUT joy comes in the morning”. This is where my spirituality comes in, it’s something I say to myself constantly. It’s a deeper meaning I’ve given what seems to be a simple straightforward verse to me it’s like “crying only provides a temporary solution to a problem, it relieves pain but cry, weep, mourn because a day will certainly come when the crying is no more and you will experience complete and utter joy”. The bible makes it so clear to us that there will be situations, scenarios that will break us, dishearten us but we need to have the assurance that the best is yet to come. Another one of my loves is American reality shows, Guiliana from E! News once said of her miscarriage that she knew that “the best is yet to come and everything works out in the end, if it hasn’t worked then it’s not the end” and that changed my perspective of a lot of things. As someone who recently came off the dating scene, the feeling of nostalgia has become far too familiar. Constant longing to be back in their company, back in their lives, back with them, despite the bad times. Just the yearning to be back in a place that made you feel happy or comfortable before, a vacancy that made you love life. Well when that’s not all there you become very depressed let me tell you. I’m all about honesty, and I can say from my own experience it has not been easy and it still isn’t. The feelings I felt was out of this world, you know that feeling when you have to pinch yourself asking if you’re living a dream…. Well that was me. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore and miss the person but that’s where my feelings of nostalgia stem from. It stems from me looking at where I am now and where I was then and assessing what’s different and what exactly has/had gone on. The fact someone who used to be close to you is no longer in your life, someone you shared private moments with, someone you laughed with and cried with. The thought of them no longer being someone you could potentially do that with can sometimes hurt.

But let me leave you with something; nostalgia isn’t all bad, it exercises your brain into thinking back to past events, whether it be your childhood or a recent tragedy or event; it’s a feeling that provokes thoughtfulness and taking a moment to just sit back and think. I’m a big big thinker and I’m grateful because by thinking deeply, I can address my own issues and let go and continue with life. But any of you, facing nostalgic feelings towards an ex, after a breakup, after a broken friendship, broken home just remember …….

“You know life is worth the struggle, when you look back at what you lost and realise what you have is now better”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a lot. Im privileged to have a lot; a lot of opportunities, a lot of help, a lot of family, friends and even enemies but most importantly God. That’s one thing I know I have better and it’s time you realise that too…..

Love, Praise’Gbemisola x

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