Change is a word that’s so easy to throw around, a word that rhymes with stage, a word that a message/lesson/sermon is so easy to be drawn from but are we failing to see what this word actually means?
Change – “to make or become different”, “take or use another instead of” or “the process in which something becomes different”.
Honestly speaking, I did not plan to write to you all this year, in fact I did not plan to write at all. And to be even more sincere, I still do not know why I chose to write in the early hours of this morning. But I knew for me this year, one thing had to change, and that was the condition of my mind.
One thing I noticed was I have/was being incredibly selfish and I knew something had to give way or be different, not just for a period but for the duration of the year. You see, I consider myself to be a selfless person, always endeavouring to put others needs before my own, always looking for ways to help others, always sacrificing for others. But I have been selfish in not sharing the journey, the struggles, the achievements I faced in both the previous year and the year we are currently in.
2017 was a year I determined from the outset to be a year characterized by change. Change in my mental state, change in my appearance, change in my health, change in my education, change in my finances, everything! And yes, I did the usual, I wrote out all my goals and everything I wanted to achieve this year but I realised first and foremost, the thing I needed to change to start off with was my mind, as this had the potential to spark a change in everything else I planned to achieve.
Now, let me give you a brief overview into how my first month in 2017 went. Having being so so excited to cross over into the New Year, I was immediately pumped, optimistic, raring to go. Just imagine a sprinter that is so excited to set off on a long distance run, let’s say 1200m and speeds out of the blocks even before the gun sounds. Well, that was me. The events that are to follow in this race of life caught me unaware, within the first 100, I had locked ankles with someone, nearly tumbling to the ground, perspiration had already started dripping from my brow, my legs already felt heavy and arms fought against the breeze. All in the space of 100m, and unfortunately this was my story for the month of January. I went through a period of unfortunate events, a broken laptop that needed to be wiped during exam times (and no I didn’t back it up), back to back exams spanning over 2 weeks, un-budgeted money spent on repairs, disappointments by friends, unexpected deaths of loved ones, lost bank card and the list continues. To you, this may seem like nothing but for someone who set out so determined to do well in this race, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed, frustrated, disappointed. And that’s just naming a few. Now, I’m not looking for your pity or empathy, I am solely trying to get you to just have a glimpse into how the year started for me.
However, despite this all, I found a peace by doing something different this year. One of my many goals this year was to read, read, read and read. And I stumbled upon this great, amazing book. ‘The Battlefield Of The Mind by Joyce Meyer’. And 2/3 of my way through the book, I can say my life has already started changing or at least my way of thinking has.
For this month of February, as the 1st of March marks Self-Harm Awareness Day, I will be releasing posts weekly on tackling the battlefield of the mind and dealing with our own worst enemy to make sure change does follow us through in this year. I will speaking about my own personal experiences and the mental challenges I have faced as a young woman growing up.
Once again, I ask you to follow me on this journey of bettering oneself and embarking on a year characterized by change.